Related:

• An elephant can be pregnant for up to two years.
• Otto: Can I at least get my stuff? Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old `Psycho' magazines.
  Otto: Wow! I have mustard? -- Otto gets evicted, "Otto Show...
• I said I'm two and a half billion years old because when I was young the earth was two billion years old and now it is four and a half billion years old so I must be two and a half billion years old.
  -- Paul Erdo...
• My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
• COONDOG MEMORY (heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago) Now
  his dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a trail twice as old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot....
• A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket.
  How old's your kid?" the conductor says, and the father says "He's four years old....
• Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas.
  Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era -- the kind of peak that never comes again....
• A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest. -- Havelock Elli
• I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.
  By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...