Related:

• RENOWN, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame -- a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other.
  Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand....
• EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
  Megaceph, chosen to serve the State In the halls of legislative debate, One day with all his credentials came To the capitol's door and announced his name....
• TREE, n. A tall vegetable intended by nature to serve as a penal apparatus, though through a miscarriage of justice most trees bear only a negligible fruit, or none at all.
  When naturally fruited, the tree is a beneficient agency of civilization and an important factor in public morals....
• UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house.
  Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse....
• LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
  We know by one's reading His learning and breeding...
• LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not.
  Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his electio...
• ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
  Having received an ultimatum from Austria, the Turkish Ministry met to consider it....
• PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons.
  Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer....