Related:

• PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Inventor, n. A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers, and springs, and believes it civilization.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music.
  The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization....
• PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language.
  The least disagreeable form of dramatic action. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TYPE, n. Pestilent bits of metal suspected of destroying civilization and enlightenment, despite their obvious agency in this incomparable dictionary.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• INFLUENCE, n. In politics, a visionary _quo_ given in exchange for a substantial _quid_.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Riot, n. A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...