Related:

• I said, "Doctor, it hurts when I do that." (Moves arm) He said, "Don't do it then.
• The patient can oftener do without the doctor, than the doctor without the patient. -- Zimmerma
• Don't do that, then!: [from an old doctor's office joke about a patient with a trivial complaint] Stock response to a user complaint.
  When I type control-S, the whole system comes to a halt for thirty seconds....
• Don't do that then! imp. [from an old doctor's office joke about a patient with a trivial complaint] Stock response to a user complaint.
  When I type control-S, the whole system comes to a halt for thirty seconds....
• The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination.
  The best thing for you to do," the M.D. said, "is give up drinking, give up smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women....
• The Doctor is ON.
• A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS: 7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY.
  You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians....
• Doctor: You need glasses. Patient: How did you know?
  Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked through the window....
• A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests.
  I have some bad news," says the doctor, "and some worse news....