Related:

• Sometimes, when I think of what that girl means to me, it's all I can do to keep from telling her.
  -- Andy Capp...
• Woof! Gasp! Choke! yes, I do have people telling me all the time.
• A retired dentist who loves to fish. "Open wide," he mutters to the unseen fish as he waits for a tug on the line.
  Now bite down. This may sting just a little bit....
• I have a fine sense of ridiculous, but no sense of humor. -- Edward Albee
• People keep asking, what must I do to be a candidate for Vice President, and I keep telling them.
  ...nothing...nothing...nothing......
• I don't have a weird sense of humor. Your reality is just weird.
• However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise.
  There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....