Related:

• People keep telling me that I do not have a sense of humor, and I don't think that is funny at all, not one little bit.
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... Do as I say, not as I do. Do me a favour and don't tell me about it....
• Skinner: Now, Bart, son. I don't know what you think you saw .
  .. but, uh ... let me assure you... Krabappel...
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, I'm in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do?
  Rachel's all like, "I love you and, and let's work on this....
• I do not care what others think of me because I know that they don't think of me at all.
  -- Dan Goodma...
• I used to think the mind was the most important part of a person.
  Then I realized what part of me is telling me that....
• A shy teenage boy finally worked up the nerve to give a gift to Maddona, a young puppy.
  It hitched its waggin' to a star. A girl spent a couple hours on the phone talking to her two best friends, Maureen Jones, and Maureen Brown....
• People keep asking, what must I do to be a candidate for Vice President, and I keep telling them.
  ...nothing...nothing...nothing......