Related:

• PHOENIX, n. The classical prototype of the modern "small hot bird.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• SAFETY-CLUTCH, n. A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the hoisting apparatus.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...