Related:

• Theme music from James Bond:) Hello. My name is David, code number 324-5628.
  I'm sorry I can't take your call, but I'm on an international mission involving the theft of gold plated Spam....
• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter":) Hi, you've reached Hell.
  (Screams in the background.) We're busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll get back to you at the end of time....
• You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility.
  We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can....
• Imitating Mr. Rogers:) Hello. I'm in the Neighborhood of Make Believe right now, so I can't come to the phone.
  Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone?...
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• Gregorian chants in background; serene voice:) Hello, Brother or Sister.
  You have reached the Cubicles of Curtis, Chris, and Jim....
• Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message!
  (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level!...
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....