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• Homer: Pretty soon, every boy and girl in Springfield Elementary School is going to come and see this thing.
  Marge: Really? Why? Homer: They're forcing 'em!...
• One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.
  Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke....
• ONE THING KIDS LIKE is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to a burned-out warehouse.
  Oh, oh," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke....
• One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.
  Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke....
• Homer: [folding a balloon incompetently] And then, take that.
  ..and... put that in there, and you...ah!...
• TOURIST: A pretty girl in Oklahoma.
• My next-door neighbor's little girl, 16 years old, pretty little girl--showed up just as pregnant as she could be.
  Her mama hit the ceiling. She said, "Who done it?...
• May I see you pretty soon?" "Don't you think I'm pretty now?
• I was sitting with a little girl of eight one afternoon.
  She looked up from her Hans Andersen and said, "Does m-i-r-a-g-e spell marriage, Mr....