Related:

• VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul.
  A Tartar Emetic. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CLARIONET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears.
  There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets....
• Wit, n.: The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery .
  .. by leaving it out. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ACCORDION, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HERS, pron. His. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary