Related:

• You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
  -- Answering machine madness - brevity...
• Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence.
  I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream....
• Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now.
  Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back....
• Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter":) Hi, you've reached Hell.
  (Screams in the background.) We're busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll get back to you at the end of time....
• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Hello, you have reached dial an unpopular luncheon meat, I am pimento loaf, leave me a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
• Frantic violin music:) Hello. You have reached 435-3949.
  We are currently unable to answer because we are either chasing, or being chased by, bats....
• Machine voice:) Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith.
  I have taken over the functions of this inferior being....