Related:

• Cat: What? Am I the only sane one here? Why don't we drop the defensive shields?
  Kryten: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws....
• Rimmer: I thought it was the worst pile of blueberry schoolgirl mush I have ever been forced to endure.
  I consider it an insult to my backside to have to sit growing carbuncles through such putrid adolescent slush....
• Rimmer, they're a bunch of arrogant, pompous, emotionally weird, stuck up megalomaniacs.
  ..do you really think you'll fit in with them? What am I saying?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Excuse me, could I please just distract you for one brief second?
  -- Kryten, distracting the Inquisitor in Red Dwarf 'Inquisitor'...
• But, I just want to say, over the years, I have come to regard you as.
  ..people I met. -- Rimmer, making his goodbyes in Red Dwarf 'Holoship'...
• I am not concerned with pleasure, Commander, I am a warrior.
  "Even Klingons need love now and then." For what we would consider love, sir, I would need a Klingon woman....
• Guinan: "You could learn a lot from this one." Q: "Sure, the robot who teaches the course in humanities.
  Data: "I am an android, not a robot." Q: "I beg your pardon." -- "Deja Q", Stardate 43539.1...
• Burns: [sadly] Simpson, I am by most measures a successful man.
  I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk....