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• Tell me, have you ever visited the planet Earth, sir? -- Edmund to Melchett : Captain Cook
• I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs.
  ..in a _bag_. -- Edmund to Melchett : Captain Cook...
• Tally-ho, yippety-dip, and zing zang spillip. Looking forward to bullying off for the final chukka?
  Permission to speak. ............... Answer the General, Baldrick....
• Remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you.
  About thirty-five _miles_ behind you, to be precise... -- Melchett and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• Take a look at this - I'm sure you know it. 'King and Country'.
  Ah yes...without doubt my _favourite_ magazine. Soft, strong....
• Melchett, I prostrate myself before the feet of the world's _greatest living comedian_!
  !!.... -- Edmund : Money...
• Tally ho, pip-pip, and Bernard's your Uncle...! ...
  In English we say, 'Good morning'... -- George and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• Oh, come, come, sir - now, you can't deny that this newspaper is good for the morale of the men?
  Certainly not. I just feel more could be achieved by giving them some _real_ toilet paper....
• You're the worst cook in the entire _world_. There are.
  ..amoeba on Saturn who could boil a better egg then you... -- Edmund to Baldrick : Captain Cook...