Related:

• People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff.
  I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy -- and I keep it in a jar on my desk....
• I'd love to, but... I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
  -- 90 of 101 Easy Ways To Say NO...
• Basically a dog person. I certainly, though, wouldn't want to offend my constituents who are cat people
  and I should say that being, I hope, a sensitive person, that I have nothing against cats, and had cats when I was a boy, and if we didn't have the two dogs might very well be interested in having a cat now....
• And make my seated heart knock at my ribs, Against the use of nature.
  Present fears Are less than horrible imaginings. -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Macbeth -- Act i, Sc....
• I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big.
  Some people must be really tired. -- Steven Wrigh...
• A retired dentist who loves to fish. "Open wide," he mutters to the unseen fish as he waits for a tug on the line.
  Now bite down. This may sting just a little bit....
• FIGHTING WORDS Say my love is easy had, Say I'm bitten raw with pride, Say I am too often sad -- Still behold me at your side.
  Say I'm neither brave nor young, Say I woo and coddle care, Say the devil touched my tongue -- Still you have my heart to wear....