Related:

• Mitch: I had the strangest dream Chris: Was it a dream where you were standing atop a pyramid dressed in the robes of a sungod with thousands of naked women throwing little tiny pickles at you?
  Mitch: No Chris: Why am I the only one who has that dream? -- From "Real Geniu...
• Lisa: Ohhh, my family just doesn't understand my new found vegetarianism.
  Compared to them the public schools are a haven of enlightenment....
• Joey: These little women. Wow! Chandler: Your liking it, huh?
  Joey: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could ever forgive her....
• Wiggum: [picking up the phone] Who is this? Skinne
  It's me, chief. I'm on the other extension. Big Daddy...
• Hibbert: I'm sorry, that leg's going to have to come off.
  [Homer and Bart gasp] Hibbert: [chuckles] Did I say "leg"?...
• To all aspiring young comedians--when are you going to do something with your life?
  Get a real job in hardware sales or taxidermy--meet a nice girl, settle down, and stop hanging around those comedy clubs with all your comedy bum friends....
• G M: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? S
  Yes, thirteen. G M: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?...
• Jerry--and I only say this because I care--they have decaffeinated brands now that taste just as good as regular.
  -- Chris Knight, from Real Geniu...
• Lisa: Mom! Dad! Martin died at school today! Marge
  Mmm! I don't see what that has to do with Groundskeeper Willy....