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• It was revealed this week that the Contras are breaking up, because one of them is dating Yoko.
  -- Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update...
• Democratic Vice-Presidential candidate Lloyd Bentson today said that he would now return to his old job as the Grandfather Clock on the Captain Kangaroo show.
  -- Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update...
• In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you
  when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to....
• Isn't it ironic that Herman Wouk's WAR AND REMEMBRANCE cost $
  110,000,000 to produce when World War II itself cost only $...
• On 10/11/88 Dan Quayle held a pumpkin next to his head. (reported in Esquire 8/92)
• What's the difference between a man and the weekend? The weekend never comes too soon.
• What you guys want, I'm for.
• What's the difference between New Age and Neo-Pagan? About $500 a weekend
• That is not a yes or no question. -- Senator Dan Quayle during a somewhat heated exchange with reporters in 1988.
  Quayle indicated he would only accept "yes or no" questions for the rest of the session....