Related:

• Put your ass into the ball, Mr. President. -- Sam Snead (giving a lesson to Dwight D. Eisenhower)
• If you are ever caught in a thunderstorm while playing golf
  he best way to keep from being struck by lightening is to pull out a 9-iron and hold it above your head, because not even God can hit a 9-iron....
• And the RESET button lets you re-run AUTOEXEC.BAT!
• Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball. If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover.
• Golf Tip: To get more distance, simply smack the ball & run backwards.
• Hit the ball over the fence, and you can take your time going around the bases. -- John Rape
• Sam, had a great time this weekend but the golf was lousey [sic].
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle in a handwritten note written to Sam Snead in the summer of 1991, after they had played a lousy round of golf....
• Never run away from a gun. Bullets can travel faster than you can.
  Besides, if you're going to be hit, you had better get it in the front than in the back....
• One of the advantages of bowling over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. -- Don Carte