Related:

• ORDER The process of telling the waiter what you would like to eat, preferably a choice from that on the menu.
  Following the ordering process, you will make a note of everything that they forget to bring you, and finally find the courage to kick up a stink when the meal's over and everyone's leaving....
• SCHEMA What you call a diagram when it gets too complicated and impressive to be called a diagram.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• We would like to appeal to all parents who own ferocious dogs - please think before leaving the dog near the baby.
  Wouldn't it be better to leave the baby outside the house?...
• KETTLE Device designed to heat up water, whistle just too quietly for you to hear when it's finished, boil dry, explode and burn your house down.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• ACCOUNTANTS! Problems balancing the books? Got a few figures you want to get rid of?
  If *you've* got numbers that you'd like to disappear, why not call FASCIST ARSON SERVICES....
• GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• GENERATION, YOUNGER The people that you don't understand. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• RECEIPT Proof of the purchase of goods. There are two distinct types of receip
  - the receipt that sits in your wallet for the best part of a year before you clean it out, and then pops up again regularly for the rest of your life, in desk drawers, stuck in books as bookmarks, or attached to the fridge with a magnet - the receipt that you think you put safely somewhere, but can't find when the goods that you bought falls apart/breaks down/ causes you to want to return the goods, for whatever reason....
• HATE To dislike something immensely. If you would are interested in hate, and would like to take it up as a hobby, contact the Hate Everything League.
  They hold regular meetings at Hate Hall, where members read odes to Barry Manilow, sing songs about Volvo Drivers, rip Cobol source-code print-outs to shreds, and burn effigies of software company support line operators....