Related:

• TELEMARKETING The practice of ringing you up when you're on the toilet just to ask you what you think about council merge
  would you like to donate to charity X, or would you like to get Call Waiting put on your phone....
• KHRISTMAS (Well, I had to get it into this week's, didn't I?
  !) Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Just a shame the Christians seem to be trying to take control of it....
• VENTRILOQUIST Someone whose antics you get sick of after just a few minutes, and want to throw a bucket of water over just to see their dummy make blubbering noises.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• WORLDWIDE JOKE SHORTAGE: Comedians everywhere are suffering due to the worldwide joke shortage.
  If you have any spare jokes lying around the house that you don't want anymore, please, give them to someone who can use them....
• WALL Structure of astounding simplicity. In terms of building and design, you can't get much simpler than a wall.
  Actually, no, I'm wrong, a floor is simpler to build....
• SCHEMA What you call a diagram when it gets too complicated and impressive to be called a diagram.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• GENERATION, YOUNGER The people that you don't understand. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• VOLUNTARY Descriptive of an action which you are doing purely because you have been embarrassed into it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...