Related:

• Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dame
  King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks....
• Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
  At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair....
• Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel.
  Handel was half German, half Italian and half English....
• Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic.
  They also had myths.A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable....
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...
• The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument.
  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was owed a personal favour by Georges Enesco, the celebrated violinist....
• Mozart, striving for perfection, wrote the same symphony forty-one times.
  In his case, it worked. He wrote a perfect symphony. -- Edward Abbey...
• Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw.
  Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients....
• George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of his plays to Winston Churchill with the following note
  "Bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and excused himself as he had a previous engagement....