Related:

• Thiessen's Law of Gastronomy: The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.
• Harriet's Dining Observation: In every restaurant, the hardness of the butter pats increases in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.
• The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.
  Jennings' Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity...
• Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
  Jenning's Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet....
• Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
  Jenning's Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet....
• Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.
  -- Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab...
• Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.