Related:

• The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the roll.
  -- Thiessman's Law of Gastronomy...
• Harriet's Dining Observation: In every restaurant, the hardness of the butter pats increases in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.
• We are on a roll Cavorting on the Butter.
• I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head.
  -- Theodore Roosevel...
• First Law of Business Meetings: The lead in a pencil will break in direct proportion to the importance of the notes being taken.
• The length of a committee meeting rises in direct proportion to the square of the number of people entitled to vote on that particular committee.
  -- Shanahan's Law...
• The overwhelming prerequisite for the greatness of an artist is that artist's death.
  -- Thiessen's Law of A...
• Objectivity increases in direct proportion to the distance from the problem.
• Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.