Related:

• What gets me is that estimated tax return. You have to guess how much you're gonna make.
  You have to fill it out, fix it up, sign it, send it in....
• I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed.
  So I said, "Get off me, you two!" -- Emo Phillip...
• You know what I hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back. -- Emo Phillip
• Come live with me and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove Of golden sands and crystal brooks With silken lines, and silver hooks.
  There's nothing that I wouldn't do If you would be my POSSLQ....
• The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?
  I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way." -- Emo Phillip...
• A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying
  What sort of programmers work for other companies?...
• Clippit Charged With Attempted Murder Microsoft's Dancing Paper Clip turned violent last week and nearly killed a university student testing a new Windows-based human-computer interface.
  The victim is expected to make a full recovery, although psychiatrists warn that the incident may scar him emotionally for life....
• Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!
  ' as loud as anyone." -- Ronald Reaga...
• Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!
  ' as loud as anyone. -- Ronald Reaga...