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I Discovered My Wife In Bed With Another Man, And I Was Crushed.
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I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I
said, "Get off me, you two!"
-- Emo Phillips
Related:
I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
o i ran over and said "stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?...
The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?
I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way." -- Emo Phillip...
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
Then I realized who was telling me this. -- Emo Phillip...
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
Then I realized who was telling me this." -- Emo Phillip...
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
I went into Gus's artificial organ and taco stand. I said "Give me a bladder por favor.
The guy said "Is that to go?" I said, "Well what else would I want it for?" -- Emo Phillip...
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face.
I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?...
I ran three miles today, finally I said "lady take your purse." -- Emo Phillip