Related:

• There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us.
  I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice....
• Kent: "What is this??!?" Chris: "This is ice, this is what happens to water when it gets too cold.
  Mitch: "Who was that?" Chris: "That was Kent, that's what happens to a man when he gets too sexually frustrated....
• With all due respect, Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor, the boy's not a doctor, the only person who even comes CLOSE is this man [Nick Riviera].
  -- Lionel Hutz responding to Marge's skepticism, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.