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• There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good.
  And one says "This is new, and therefore better." -- John Brunner, "The Shockwave Ride...
• ALLIGATOR, n. The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.
  Herodotus says the Indus is, with one exception, the only river that produces crocodiles, but they appear to have gone West and grown up with the other rivers....
• Two drunks sitting at the bar. One drunk says, "Hey, did you hear about the new ice cubes with the hole in the middle?
  The other drunk says, "Whaddya mean hear about 'em? I married one!" -- Hap Happy...
• Two behaviorists meet in the morning and one says to the other, You're fine. How am I?
• Old Japanese proverb: There are two kinds of fools -- those who never climb Mt.
  Fuji, and those who climb it twice....
• A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard.
  One of the men gets out and goes into the office....
• Those who quote me are fools. -- Confucius Say
• My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!
  The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo?...