Related:

• August 6 -- As "Ollie-mania" continues to sweep the country, one of the most popular video-arcade games in the country is a new one called -- this is true -- "Contra.
  The way it works is, there are are two soldiers on the screen, and when you put in a quarter, it never gets to them....
• And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business produc
  a really sharp-looking report. -- Dave Barry...
• Go ahead, the Surgeon General has determined that you only live once.
• Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it.
  Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors....
• Gifts for Children -- This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want.
  They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon-show advertisements....
• Gifts for Children -- This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want.
  They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon-show advertisements....
• You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want.
  They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon-show advertisements....
• The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains.
  -- Dave Barry...