Related:

• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, there isn't?... I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center.
  Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey....
• Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want? -- Answering machine madness - authority figure
• In Joe Friday voice:) This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service.
  The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada....
• The party you dialed is not available. Your call is being diverted to an alternate number.
  Please stand by... (Ring...) The number you dialed must be dialed by your 0 operator....
• In a bored voice:) Heaven, God speaking... the answers NO!
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...