Related:

• I'm sitting in a bar, having a drink. Over here is a man having a drink.
  He falls down three times. I pick him up each time....
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
• A man asked a private detective to follow his wife.
  After several days, the private detective came back with his findings....
• Here lies my wife: her let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.
  -- John Dryden, epitaph intended for his wife...
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• You know the honeymoon is over when you wife says she's going to slip into something a little more comfortable, and it turns out to be a twin bed!
• There's no place here for a man who says what he means.
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...