Related:

• Want to speak with Fawn Hall or Ollie North? They have an 800 number! Simply dial 1-800-WE SHRED
• The Internal Revenue Service has a new "800" number, 1-800-NO MERCY!
• If you wanna complain about my attitude dial 1 (800) EAT-SH*T.
• How many socialists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an '800' number to order an American light bulb....
• I think all cars should have car phones in 'em and their license plates should be their phone number.
  So you can call 'em up and tell 'em to get the hell out of the way....
• Geraldo Rivera: Genetic experiment gone bad?
• Johnny Carson: [as Karnak] Geraldo Rivera, Madonna, and a diseased yak.
  Ed McMahon: Ho ho ho ho....
• May your lucky rabbit's foot be attached to an 800 lb. rabbit.