Related:

• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• Virtue could see to do what virtue would By her own radiant light, though sun and moon Were in the flat sea sunk.
  And Wisdom's self Oft seeks to sweet retired solitude, Where with her best nurse Contemplation She plumes her feathers and lets grow her wings, That in the various bustle of resort Were all-to ruffled, and sometimes impair'd....
• If she had not been cupric in her ions, Her shape ovoidal, Their romance might have flourished.
  But he built tetrahedral in his shape, His ions ferric, Love could not help but die, Uncatylised, inert, and undernourished....
• Here lies my wife: her let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.
  -- John Dryden, epitaph intended for his wife...
• Sodom and Gomorrah! Wicked people destroyed by a tremendous conflagration, belching forth fire, hell, and brimstone from the heavens!
  Wicked people stooped to debaucheries, degeneracies, and perversion!...
• Coming up, Beavis seeks out his biological mother, but she changes her DNA in order to avoid him.
  -- Commercial break from "Beavis and Butthead...
• She passes by her ancestor And meets her ancestress.
  He does not reach his prince And meets the official. No blame....
• There was a young whore from kaloo Who filled her vagina with glue.
  She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in, They can pay to get out again too!...
• Homer: Lisa, you like homework. Could you fill out this form for me?
  Lisa: Well, all right. If you'll listen to the poem I just wrote....