Related:

• Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
  If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number....
• Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
  If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now....
• Sultry female voice:) Welcome to Susan's Message Parlor of Delights.
  We would be delighted if you would leave your name, number, and of course a message that doesn't rub us the wrong way....
• Hello and Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline ** If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2....
• Stoned, slow voice:) Hey brother, you have reached the Narcotics Information Hotline.
  None of us can answer the phone right now, 'cause we're trying to decide if it exists....
• Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit":) Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, No one's here, no one's home, Leave a message, at the tone.
  Don't feel stupid, it's no big fuss, Leave a message, you can reach us....
• Computer generated voices:) 1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
  2: Yeah, nobody but us machines! 1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up!...
• To scare off annoying liberals:) Hello, and thank you for calling the Bush in 50 Campaign.
  Your five dollar donation to get George Bush re-elected in all 50 states will automatically be charged to your phone bill....
• You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
  -- Answering machine madness - brevity...