Related:

• This might be funnier in this context than actually on an answering machine.
  It certainly will befuddle the caller!) The number you have reached is currently unavailable....
• The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed.
  The new number is 226-0477. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it....
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, there isn't?... I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Wrong number? No sweat, I was going to pick up the phone anyway.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Hello, you have reached dial an unpopular luncheon meat, I am pimento loaf, leave me a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility.
  We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can....