Related:

• One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his attic.
  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke....
• May your daughters grow up such gems, their presence in your house illuminates your old age.
• Marge: All right: it's time to vote for the grand prize.
  Jay: I vote for Barney Gumbel's sensitive yet unfortunately-titled film, "Pukahontas"....
• I listen to feminists and all these radical gals -- most of them are failures.
  They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom....
• No bathroom? Just boldly go where no man has gone before.
• May you have a dozen daughters, each uglier than sin, and not one penny in dowry.
• Well, my daddy left home when I was three, And he didn't leave much for Ma and me, Just and old guitar an'a empty bottle of booze.
  Now I don't blame him 'cause he ran and hid, But the meanest thing that he ever did, Was before he left he went and named me Sue....
• Homer: [hesitant] So...what do you guys think of Mindy?
  Carl: Seems OK. Anybody see the game last night?...
• Scott: "I don't belong on your ship. I belong on this one.
  This was my home. This is where I had a purpose....