Related:

• CHOCOLATE Truly the most wondrous substance in the whole universe.
  One day they will discover that chocolate can be used to power the world, cure the common cold, stop cancer in its tracks, and do really nasty things to Nazis....
• TRAM Large green thing which rumbles down city streets, carrying people to where they want to go.
  Generally follows a predetermined path, but in no way subscribes to outlandish concepts such as "timetables"....
• ABATTOIR A location where carnivores like myself can go to see the full reality of the slaughter of defenceless little sheepie
  piggies and other animals unfortunate enough to be farmed for their delicious rumps (and other bits)....
• VIRTUAL REALITY Another one of those concepts that no-one over 45 really understands.
  See also: Information superhighway, Interactive TV....
• ALIEN INVASION IMMINENT It now known that an alien species has been watching this planet for several years now.
  They have sent their scouts ahead, who have infiltrated much of the civilised world....
• VANDAL Vandals are people who have their brain surgically removed and then go around destroying, damaging and generally depreciating anything they feel like, just because they want to.
  Psychiatrists have described this behaviour as regression, and a primal act of defiance against society....
• MARK, MARKY I don't know what it is about these people who not only have first and surnames starting with the same letters, but also have the nerve to get famous with those names.
  I guess their parents were all alliteration enthusiasts....
• CHURCH A church is either (a) a big, generally impressive-looking building where people go to indulge in religious activities, or (b) a rash commonly found on the upper-thigh.
  I think it's (b). One well-known cure is to dab it with a cream mixed from worm manure, cow snot and crushed caterpillars....
• AND NOW ANOTHER WORD FROM THE PENTAGON Oh, and by the way.
  .. about those 45,000 body-bags we had shipped to Saudi Arabia....