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• Read my little fable: He that runs may read. Most can raise the flowers now, For all have got the seed.
  -- Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892) -- The Flowe...
• I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. -- Wilson Mizne
• Why read it when you can print it?
• It's hard to read the writing on the wall when you've got your back to it.
• Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room?
  Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room?...
• When I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language correctly.
  .. I think Any fool can make a rule And every fool will mind it....
• CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes?
  He won't be long. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today....
• You are generous and always think of the other fellow.
• What did Jesus do when he got to the Holiday Inn? He threw some nails down on the counter and asked, "Can you put me up for the night?