Related:

• When the tides of life turn against you, And the current upsets your boat, Don't waste those tears on what might have bee
  Just lay on your back and float. -- Art Carney (as Ed Norton in The Honeymooners)...
• 8) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat.
  I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." --Paula Poundstone...
• I had written to Aunt Maud, who was on a trip abroad.
  When I heard she'd died of cramp, just too late to save the stamp. -- Harry Graham...
• You slapped my face Oh but so gently I smiled At the caress. -- William Carlos William
• Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
  "I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly....
• I thank the goodness and the grace Which on my birth have smiled, And made me, in these Christian days, A happy Christian child.
  -- Jane Taylor (1783-1824) -- A Child's Hymn of Praise...
• The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every Jewish child, was propounded to me by my fathe
  "What is it that hangs on the wall, is green, wet -- and whistles?...
• The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every Jewish child, was propounded to me by my fathe
  "What is it that hangs on the wall, is green, wet -- and whistles?...