Related:

• When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, "Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?
  He answered, "If the zoo wants you let them come and get you." -- Jerry Lewi...
• I took my kid to the children's zoo, but they wouldn't take him.
• Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house.
  The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?...
• You are old," said the youth, "and I'm told by my peers That your lectures bore people to death.
  Yet you talk at one hundred conventions per year -- Don't you think that you should save your breath?...
• Cecil, you're my final hope Of finding out the true Straight Dope For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat But none of my cats are at all like that.
  This unusual animal (so it is said) Is simultaneously alive and dead!...
• My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.
  Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back....
• I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...