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• MAC AIRWAYS The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same.
  When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie....
• FLY WINDOWS NT All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane.
  They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying....
• MVS AIRLINES The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft.
  This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers....
• You Might be a Microsoft Employee If... 1. When a Microsoft program crashes for the millionth time, you say "Oh, well!
  and reboot without any negative thoughts 2. The Windows 95 startup screen (the clouds) makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside 3....
• WINGS of OS/400 The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew and painted 747 on their tails to make them look as if they are fast.
  The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $...
• DOS AIR All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again.
  Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etcetera....
• OS/2 SKYWAYS The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about.
  Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field....
• Oxygen is a very toxic gas and an extreme fire hazard.
  It is fatal in concentrations of as little as 0.000001 p....
• Windows 95: The Dracula of Operating Systems--it sucks up all your memory, bleeds your hard drive dry, and only works an average of 12 hours out of every 24.