Related:

• You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
  You are avenged fourteen hundred and forty times a day. -- Ambrose Bierce...
• Better late than before anybody has invited you. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
  -- Ambrose Bierce: "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
  Moses Mendlessohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name....
• BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Did you know that clones never use mirrors? -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary