Related:

• An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed).
  When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage....
• When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
  She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....
• A woman, who weighed a bulging three hundred pounds, went into a store to buy some shoes.
  She tried on so many she almost drove the poor clerk crazy....
• When a lady says no, she means perhaps. When she says perhaps, she means yes.
  But when she says yes, she is no lady....
• You tell 'em Butcher, You've got a lot of tongue.
• Hoover: OK, our next entry is "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Alison Taylor.
  Skinner: Mmm, I can't wait to see this. [low voice] Be ready with the ribbon....
• She says hello, you fool, I love you.
• A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.
  He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want that necklace....
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....