Related:

• I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople.
  They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wrigh...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, `Well, what do you need?'" -- Steven Wrigh...
• Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs.
  I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again....
• Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew.
  People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it...it feels real." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople.
  They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?...
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)....