Related:

• Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
  "Wait a minute. Aren't you a string?" "Well, yes, I am....
• A termite walked into a bar and asked "Is the bartender here?
• Bart flicks a pocket knife open and closed repeatedly] Ma
  You call that a knife? _This_ is a knife. Ba...
• A guy walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Since when did you have sawdust on the floor?
  That's not sawdust," the bartender said. "It's last night's furniture." -- Joey Adam...
• Homer: The last bar in Springfield...if they don't let me in here, I'm going to have to quit drinking!
  Homer's liver: Yay! Homer: Shut up, liver!...
• It was raining heavily, and the motorist had car trouble on a lonely country road.
  Anxious to find shelter for the night, he walked over to a farmhouse and knocked on the front door....
• I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"?
  I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife....
• The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
  "Hey, buddy," the bartender replied, "you see those two guys next to you?...
• A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone.
  After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it....