Related:

• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• Alex came home from a business trip to Chicago and found no one home but his daughter Rose, who was crying bitterly.
  "What's the matter, darling?" asked Alex. "Mommy almost died last night," sobbed Rose....
• The woman hurried home from her doctor's appointment, devastated by the medical report she had just received.
  When her husband came in from work, she told him, "Darling, the doctor said I have only twelve more hours to live....
• She said I should think of her like a sister. I said I did, but not my sister.
• Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving.
• In bed the other night my girlfriend asked "if you could know exactly when and where you would die, would you want to?
  I said "no". She said, "ok, then forget it". -- Steven Wrigh...
• A man met a beautiful young woman in a bar. They got along well, shared dinner, and had a marvelous evening.
  When he left her, he told her that he had really enjoyed their time together, and hoped to see her again, soon....
• Did you hear about the Eskimo girl who spent the night with her boyfriend and next morning found she was six months pregnant.
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....