Related:

• The local minister noticed a little girl standing outside of his door with a basket of kittens.
  "Hello, little girl, what do you have there?" "These are my Democratic kittens," she replied....
• It's a boy, Mrs. Walker, it's a boy.
• Dear Editor: I just read in your paper that a little old lady was bitten by a black widow spider when she picked up the paper off the front porch.
  This came as nothing short of a surprise to me. Not the fact that she was bitten by a black widow spider, mind you, but that the paper was on the front porch....
• Mrs. K: Bart, have you ever read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?
  Bart: I'm halfway through it, I swear! -- That's the one with Little Red Riding Hood and the three pigs, right?...
• The passionate young thing was having a difficult time getting across what she wanted from her rather dense boyfriend.
  Finally she asked, "Would you like to see where I was operated on for appendicitis?...
• She asked me if I loved her still. "Yes," I replied. "I've never had you any other way.
• A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card games.
  "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife," he said....
• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....