Related:

• Any news from the President on a successor?" he asked hopefully.
  "None," Anita replied. "She's having great difficulty finding someone qualified who is willing to accept the post....
• Phoebe: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
  Mr. Adelman: You're saying, my wife is in you? Phoebe...
• While hunting, a man saw a beautiful nude woman come running out of the woods and disappear across the clearing.
  Just as she got out of sight, three men dressed in white uniforms came running out of the same woods....
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.
  Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it....
• I hate blind dates, but a friend says he could set me up, so I said, "Okay.
  But you should have seen this girl. It was like she hadn't taken a bath in a month....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A couple I know were discussing their wallpaper, which had just been hung.
  Dov was annoyed at Debby's indifference to what he felt was a poor job....
• My aunt's had a terrible time. First off, she got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia.
  After that she got rheumatism, and to top it off they gave her hypodermics and inoculations....