Related:

• McCoy: "Damn it, Jim, what the hell's the matter with you?
  Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?...
• Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
  -- Ogden Nash...
• I want to share something with you -- the three little sentences that will get you through life.
  Number one, `Cover for me.' Number two, `Oh, good idea, boss....
• When you dial a wrong number you never get a busy signal.
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....
• You never have the right number of pills left on the last day of a prescription.
• I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
  Number 1: [whispers] Cover for me. Number 2...
• It's at moments like this that you want to squeeze false fruit.
• Burns: Well, Simpson, I must say, once you're been through something like that with a person, you never want to see that person again.
  Homer: You said it, you weirdo. Mountain Madne...