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• My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay In better spirits night and day.
• I always will remember -- I was in no mood to trifle
  'Twas a year ago November -- I got down my trusty rifle I went out to shoot some deer And went out to stalk my prey -- On a morning bright and clear....
• My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window.
  We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up the amplifier and backed up to my bedroom door....
• My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window.
  We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up the amplifier and backed up to my bedroom door....
• I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him.
  'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
  -- Joe E. Lewi...
• When I was a baby, I kept a diary. The first entry i
  Day One: Still tired from the move." I was upset because on my second birthday, I went from being one to being two, and my age doubled in a year....
• I want you to stop quoting me out of context,' he said.
  `Printing my comments intact would make things much easier....