Related:

• Homer: [gasps] You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names in boxing!
  He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!...
• Ahh. You have a practiced hand Commander. Yes, I have my father to thank.
  Your father like to cook? No, he hated it. That's why he left the chore to me....
• Five-Minute University teaches you in five minutes what the average college student remembers five years after he or she's out of school .
  .. Say, if you want to take Spanish, what I teach you is "Como esta usted....
• I woke up this morning, and I realized that somebody had broken into my apartment, stolen all my things and replaced them with exact duplicates.
  I asked my roommate if he noticed anything, and he said, 'Who are you?...
• Homer: [gasps] Tom Landry's hat, and it's autographed.
  To Berman's Dry Cleaning. Best wishes, Tom Landry....
• In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in the proper order then why can't he?
• Lisa: Hi, I have a request. I would like you to do a tribute to Bleeding Gums Murphy, please.
  DJ: Aw, I'd love to, little sister, but we don't have his album....
• I would have nobody to control me; I would be absolute
  and who but I? Now, he that is absolute can do what he like...
• Yar: "Captain Jean-Luc Picard, I wish I could say you've been like a father to me, but I've never had one so I don't know what it feels like.
  But if there was one person in this universe who I would choose to be like, someone who I would want to make proud of me, it's you....