Related:

• I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
  -- An English Professor, Ohio University...
• I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
  --English Professor, Ohio University...
• I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper) presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.
  -- English Professor, Providence College...
• I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper) presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.
  -- English Professor, Providence College...
• Chalmers: Boys and girls, because of Mr. Skinner's sudden departure, I've had to appoint a new principal.
  Leopold? [hulking Leopold stands, and everyone gasps in fear] Leopold...